


I Miss You

by themistrollsin



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-05-07 00:49:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5437277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themistrollsin/pseuds/themistrollsin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Patrick wanted to be thrilled.  He wanted to gloat with his teammates.  Sure, he was happy and he made it seem like he was just as thrilled as they all were.  There was something missing though.  There was a feeling that wasn’t there.  Their celebrations hadn’t been the same since the day he ended it.  Jonathan didn’t deserve what Patrick had done.  Things had been going so well for them and then Patrick ended it.  How could he do that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Miss You

**Author's Note:**

> So this all came about when I a few gif sets on Tumblr. While I know he was more than likely exhausted during the interviews, he kinda looked like he was sad and had been crying. And this is what my brain came up with.

Patrick wanted to be thrilled.  He wanted to gloat with his teammates.  Sure, he was happy and he made it seem like he was just as thrilled as they all were.  There was something missing though.  There was a feeling that wasn’t there.  Their celebrations hadn’t been the same since the day he ended it.  Jonathan didn’t deserve what Patrick had done.  Things had been going so well for them and then Patrick ended it.  How could he do that?

 

So yes, Patrick wanted to be thrilled about what was going on.  He just couldn’t bring himself to be there with the others when he really only wanted one thing… Jonathan.  He only has himself to blame.  He goes about answering the reporters’ questions, though he’s not fully into the task at hand.  He can’t even bring himself to crack a smile; something he’d always been able to do at the worst of times.

 

He’s thankful when the group of reporters walk away.  He looks over to see Jonathan stand up to start answering his own question.  Patrick lets out a soft breath as he turns away.  He’s an idiot.  There’s no question about that.  If it weren’t for him, he wouldn’t be in this turmoil.  He would still be with Jonathan and they would be happy.  Right?  Of course right.  Patrick knew it was all better when he was with Jonathan.  His life had meaning with the other man.  He life made sense when they were together.

 

It isn’t too much later when the reporters finally leave the locker room.  Patrick lets out a heavy breath as he sits down.  The next thing he knows is a hand resting on his shoulder.  When he looks back, he sees Jonathan standing there.  He raises an eyebrow at the other man.  “What?” he asks.

 

“I should ask you that,” Jonathan answers.  “Everyone else has left.”

 

Patrick looks around and frowns.  How long had he been sitting here?  He looks at Jonathan again.  “Sorry.  I’ll get out of your way.”  He moves to grab his jeans.

 

“Patrick, you can go shower.”

 

“No, I’ll just…”

 

“Patrick, go shower.”

 

He sighs.  “What about you?  Don’t you wanna get home?”

 

Jonathan shrugs.  “At some point, yes.  Go shower.”

 

Patrick walks out of the showers a few minutes later.  He’s glad he was actually able to shower now; even if it meant having to be near Jonathan a little longer.  He glances over to see his captain sitting staring down at his phone.  “Hope I’m not keeping you from anything,” he says.

 

Jonathan looks over and shakes his head.  “Nope,” he replies.  “Just a date with my couch.”  He shrugs.  “It’ll be there whenever I get home.”

 

Patrick nods a little as he sits down by his locker.  He hates that there’s awkwardness and tension that fills the room.  “I won’t be much longer.”

 

“No problem.”  Jonathan watches him for a moment before looking at his phone once again.

 

Patrick covers his face with his towel as he tries to calm himself down.  He doesn’t even know why he’s on the verge of tears.  Okay, so that a lie.  It’s so painfully obvious to him why he wants to cry.  And he hates himself for feeling like this.  He shouldn’t feel like this.  He left; he made the decision to end his life with Jonathan.  He deserves to be miserable.

 

Jonathan looks up when he hears a soft sniffle.  He frowns at the sight of Patrick with his face buried in his towel.  It breaks his heart to see the other man like this.  He isn’t even sure what’s behind Patrick’s emotional state right now.  It doesn’t matter.  As Patrick’s captain, and one-time best friend and boyfriend, he has to find a way to help him through it.  He stands up and walks over to Patrick, resting his hand on the slightly younger man’s shoulder.  “Paddy…”

 

Patrick looks up quickly, wiping away the tears that had escaped.  “What?”  He shrugs away from Jonathan’s touch.  It feels too good.  “I’m sorry.  Just…”

 

“Don’t apologize.”  Jonathan watches as Patrick grabs his jeans and pulls them on.  “Listen…”

 

“I’ll be done in a minute.”

 

“Paddy…”

 

“Stop calling me that.”  It came out harsher than Patrick had meant.  “I’m fine.”

 

“Bull shit.  If you don’t want to fucking talk to me, fine.  But don’t sit there and lie to me about you being fine.  You forget who you’re talking to.  Something is bothering you.”  He turns and starts back to where he’d been sitting.  But one simple comment from Patrick has him freezing where he stands.

 

“I miss you.”

 

Jonathan turns around again to find Patrick looking over at him with that sad look.  Did he hear him correctly?  “You are the one that walked away.”

 

“I know.  I just…”

 

Jonathan waits for Patrick to continue but isn’t too surprised when he doesn’t.  “You just what, Patrick?”

 

“I thought it was what I wanted.  I thought I was doing the right thing.”

 

“The right thing?  Are you serious?  How did you think it was the right thing, Patrick?  Huh?  I would love to hear what crazy thing that went through your head that night to make you think it was a good idea.  Because to me?  I thought we were going pretty damn good.  So damn good in fact that I had planned on asking you to move in with me that night.  Apparently I had my head too far up your ass to realize that we weren’t on the same page.”

 

Patrick stares at Jonathan after the confession.  “But… you… no.”  He shakes his head, finally standing up and turning toward Jonathan.  “You ignored me that night.”

 

Before Jonathan can respond, the security guard steps into the locker room letting them know they have to get going.  “If you really think I was ignoring you, then maybe it’s a good thing you left.”  Jonathan grabs his things and walks out of the locker room.

 

Patrick stares after him.  “You were ignoring me, jackass.”  He grabs his things.  “Wasn’t he?”  He frowns as he walks out of the locker room.  “Of course he was.  He had to have been, otherwise you wouldn’t have been so stupid.”  Patrick groans, hating that he’s now talking to himself.

 

Instead of trying to his own place, he ends up in front of Jonathan’s building.  He lets out a heavy breath as he looks up to the other man’s window just in time to see the living room light turn on.  After arguing with himself for another moment, he drives to the parking garage and parks in one of the visitor’s spots.  He uses his key to get into the building before riding the elevator up to the fifteenth floor.  Then he finds himself standing outside Jonathan’s apartment.  He takes a deep breath as he knocks on the door.  There’s movement inside and he can hear Jonathan making his way over.

 

“Patrick,” Jonathan says surprised to see the other man at his door.

 

Patrick smiles sadly.  “Umm… just…”  He shrugs.  “Did you mean it?”

 

Jonathan frowns.  “Mean what?”

 

“That you were going to ask me to move in with you.  Did you mean it?”

 

Jonathan lets out a heavy breath as he nods.  “Yes, I meant it.”

 

“But that night…”

 

“I was trying to find the right way and right time to ask you.  If you felt like I was ignoring you, then I’m sorry.  But that wasn’t the case at all.”

 

“So I left for nothing.”

 

“Paddy…”

 

“I’m so sorry.”  Patrick barely manages to get the apology out as the tears start once again.  How could he have been so stupid?  “Johnny…”

 

“Get in here.”  Jonathan pulls him into the apartment and closes the door.  “Tell me what you want.”

 

“Forgive me.”

 

“Done.”

 

“Kiss me.”

 

Jonathan steps forward and captures Patrick’s mouth in a soft kiss.  “Done,” he mumbles before continuing the kiss.

 

**The End**


End file.
